Alright, let’s talk about this “crossword massage” idea I tried out. Sounds a bit funny, doesn’t it? Someone mentioned it, maybe half-joking, but I was feeling pretty wound up last week, you know, the usual stuff piling up. Thought maybe mixing a bit of brain work with some relaxation might actually do something. Couldn’t hurt to try, right?
So, I got things ready. Found my favourite spot, the old massage chair in the corner that groans a bit but still does the job. Made sure the lighting was decent. Grabbed the newspaper from yesterday – had a half-finished crossword in it. Nothing too tricky, just your standard daily puzzle. Found a pen that worked.
Fired up the massage chair. Started with the gentle rolling mode. Felt pretty good, loosening things up a bit. Opened the newspaper, balanced it on my lap. Okay, where was I? Ah, 12-Across, “A type of bean,” five letters. Hmm. While thinking, the chair shifted gears, started that kneading thing on my lower back. Nice. Okay, “L-I-M-A.” Got it. Tried to write it down.
This is where things got tricky. Just as I was forming the ‘L’, the rollers decided to aggressively tackle a knot near my shoulder blade. My whole upper body tensed up. The pen jabbed the paper, leaving a nice ink blotch instead of a letter. Tried again. The chair started vibrating. My handwriting, which isn’t great at the best of times, started looking like some ancient, shaky script.
I attempted another clue. 15-Down, “Not fresh,” five letters. Stale. Easy enough. But trying to write it vertically while the chair was doing its wave pattern on my back? Forget it. The ‘S’ looked okay, but the ‘T’ ended up halfway into the next box, and the ‘A’ just became a squiggle. It was more frustrating than relaxing!
So, what’s the verdict?
Well, for me, it was kind of a bust. My brain felt split. Part of me wanted to sink into the massage, let the knots get worked out. The other part was getting increasingly irritated by my inability to focus on the clues or even write legibly. The physical sensations kept pulling my attention away from the mental task, and trying to concentrate on the puzzle made me tense up, completely defeating the purpose of the massage.
After maybe ten minutes of this clumsy juggling act, I just gave up. I put the paper and pen aside. Closed my eyes. Focused on my breathing and let the massage chair do its thing. Honestly, that felt way better. The tension actually started to melt away once I stopped trying to force the crossword into the equation.
It reminds me of trying to pat your head and rub your stomach, but while riding a rollercoaster. Some things just don’t mix well, at least not for me. Maybe some folks can pull it off, maybe with a super gentle massage or a crossword puzzle designed for shaky hands. But me? Nah. I learned my lesson.
From now on, it’s one thing at a time. If I need a massage, I’ll just have the massage. If I feel like doing a crossword, I’ll sit down with a cup of tea and do the crossword. Trying to mash them together just created a weird, slightly stressful mess. So, “crossword massage”? I’ve done my practical research. My conclusion: probably best to keep ’em separate.
